Simplicity by Choice

Off-Grid Living & Self-Reliance

Homestead Critter Humor August 23, 2014

Filed under: homesteading,humor — ourprairiehome @ 6:06 am
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There are some moments in life where you just have to step back and not take life too seriously. Tonight was one of those times. During the early afternoon, I had handwashed my favorite sundress so that I could wear it when I went out to town for the day tomorrow. I love this dress. It is a Bohemian styled, light, gauzy, tie-dyed dress with pretty flowers embroidered on the front bodice. Very girly for me when compared to some of my other clothes. So, I gently handwashed the dress and hung it on a hanger to dry. It was a nice warm afternoon with a gentle breeze, so I took it outdoors to hang it on a nail along the porch roof.

This evening, after the kids were asleep, I remembered that I hadn’t brought my dress back into the house. Knowing that we have huge spiders and other creepy crawlies out here in the country, I wanted to make sure my dress was safely inside. We have also been known to have a bird make a little nest in my darling husband’s jeans pocket when a pair hung out on the clothesline too long during the daytime. So, I took the flashlight and went to retrieve the sundress. It was gone! I looked all over the ground in case the breeze had blown it off the nail it had hung from. No dress! I went into freak out mode. I came back inside to see if I may have brought it in and forgotten. Nope! No sundress to be found.

Back outside again, I widened my search for the dress. The kids were playing out there when I took it outside. Maybe our son had pulled it down and drug it off into the yard – or worse yet, put it into their wading pool. Nope! The dress was not in the pool or in the areas where Pookie plays. I came back in the house and woke up our daughter to ask where the dress was. By this time I was feeling a bit frantic. She sleepily stared at me with a blank look on her face as I told her my dilemma and asked if she knew where the dress was. After a few minutes, I realized that getting a coherent reply from an 8 yr old who is groggy from being awaken from a sound sleep is not likely to happen.

Again, I went outdoors and checked where I had hung the dress. Why I thought that the fates would be merciful and allow me to find my sundress where I had hung it is a mystery even to me, I did sort of hope that karma would stop having such fun with her wicked sense of humor though.

As I began walking the entire fenced yard to look for the dress, I caught a glimpse of some movement near our large apple tree. There, under the tree was a big opossum running across the yard towards the woods. Bouncing along behind the opossum was MY SUNDRESS!!!!! The cheeky little rodent had somehow got my sundress, hanger and all, and was running away with it! I ran after the little rascal, yelling for it to drop my dress. It stopped and looked towards me and hissed at me! The nerve of that little thief! In the heat of the moment, I totally lost all sense of decorum. I stood there in the yard pointing at that opossum and told it, “Oh no! Don’t you get a hissy attitude with me. If anyone had a right to be hissy, its ME because you have my dress!” (Yes, folks. I actually went there.) I tossed a small stick towards her, not anywhere close enough to hit her, but a couple feet away just to startle her. She turned and ran off into the woods – leaving the dress behind to the victor and rightful owner of said dress. Thank you very much!

Feeling quite pleased with myself, I brought the dress into the house. I checked it over carefully to be certain that the opossum hadn’t damaged it. The dress had come through totally unscathed. I even checked it for ticks since the opossums are known to get ticks just as a dog or cat do. Again, the dress was clear of any problems. Not even one stitch of the embroidered design was snagged. I handwashed the dress again. This time it is hanging up inside the house where it is safe from cheeky little critters who may share that opossum’s interest in sundresses.

I am so glad that I got the sundress back in good condition. The thing that really has me going tonight though is that I don’t know which bothered me more. Was it the fact that my dress had come up missing for a while? Or was it the fact that the opossum actually looked so cute in it? There is just something totally messed up in that thought.

I am just happy that my darling husband was not home. He laughed when I told him about it. He admitted that if something like this happened in the daytime when he was home, it would have been on YouTube soon after. Oh the horrors!

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